Sometimes Fuck It Is The Magic Word

Life hands us monumental moments that only require of us to show up if we can get past our own borders of self destruction, insecurities & hindrances that would otherwise hold us back. It simply asks of us on all levels of conscious living to surrender to its opening in a fuck it kind of way to just be present in seeing its unexpected gift as a form of golden opportunity.

The Shame Of Weight

I grew up in a home where the scale for ones body weight was a solid fixture in the upstairs hallway.  For years as a child I would watch my former weight obsessed mother step onto her throne that was her scale, hoping for a number that she could happily live with.  This self abusiveContinue reading “The Shame Of Weight”

The Birth Of The Legendary Phoenix

There are usually specific times in our lives that call upon us to participate in some epic shit created by the universe, usually when we are not feeling so incredibly outstanding.  Many times we see & view these moments as more of a personal assassination when we are at the lowest points in our life, challengingContinue reading “The Birth Of The Legendary Phoenix”

I Am The Light

I never realized how bright my light actual was until I came to terms with how disruptive & chaotic my family background had been, living off of the emotional crumbs that I once thought were full course meals of sustenance. I never put together that the ache in my emotional body was that of starvation, surviving on artificial processedContinue reading “I Am The Light”

The (UN)Mothers Of This Day

I was at the post office dropping off a parcel for a customer & the woman who always rings me up wished me a Happy Mothers day as we finished the transaction.  I was walking away thanking her & quickly turned back around to ask if she herself was a mom, because truthfully you neverContinue reading “The (UN)Mothers Of This Day”

The Emotional Truth About Adoptees Grief & Invisible Loss

Being adopted, I’ve noticed in general we are hardly ever taught how to openly properly mourn & grieve our first greatest initial loss, that ends up dictating & effecting our entire emotional life afterwards.  Human emotions are built in stages during infancy, childhood & adolescence registering & governing the emotional information into our adulthood.  ThisContinue reading “The Emotional Truth About Adoptees Grief & Invisible Loss”

How I Cut Half My Finger Off

Ive spent the last 46 years without my full right index finger due to a childhood accident I had before turning 5, having now only a half of a finger to point with.  My family had just newly moved to our new home when my older brother & I unintentionally played a game that hadContinue reading “How I Cut Half My Finger Off”

The Archetype Of A Queen/King Bee

I can remember back when I was a kid once upon a time ago, being purposely left out of parties & group hangouts that every body else got the invite too.  I was felt embarrassed to share the truth that I wasn’t invited when asked by the other girls who were going.  It usually boils down to the one MEANContinue reading “The Archetype Of A Queen/King Bee”

The Unhealthy Patterns Of Behavior

Patterns are a series of unlimited continuous happenings that give a suggested look or outcome based on the experience before.  Sometimes these series of sequences can be a positive model in trying to gage the configuration on situations that you are watching or being watched on.   Sometimes these patterns can be behavioral, offering aContinue reading “The Unhealthy Patterns Of Behavior”

Immigration & The American Dream

My husband is an immigrant, coming to this country not for the usual attainment of the American dream but for something far more magical.  He came here for me.  This alone put us in a place of uncertainty, not fully understanding the lengths & hoops we would have to go threw for the cost ofContinue reading “Immigration & The American Dream”